Beware of the Wireless Umbilical Cord

With the dawn of inexpensive communication and social networks college students are no longer forging off into the wilderness of adulthood apart from their parents. The wireless umbilical cord is proving to be tuff to separate!

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By SHANNON COLAVECCHIO
Herald/Times Tallahassee Bureau

When University of Florida administrator Jeanna Mastrodicasa was a student living in a dorm at the University of Georgia, she had to dial collect to call home. And she didn't do it all that often.

Fast forward two decades, and you find college students like Tiana Johnson, who talks to her mother every day, ``maybe every couple of hours.'' The two also exchange frequent text messages. And they're connected through Facebook, the increasingly popular social networking site that allows Tiana's mother to see pictures and ``status updates'' documenting Tiana's college experience.

``We talk about family stuff, what I have to do,'' says Tiana, 18, who on Monday starts her second year at the University of South Florida. ``It's really just to check up.''

So much for going away to college and finding your independence. The umbilical cord is now wireless.

With affordable cellphones and instant, 24-hour social tools like Facebook and Twitter, more and more college students today remain close to home, no matter how far away their campus is.

Technology makes it easier than ever for parents to hover, and the college years become just an extended version of high school. Researchers in academia call this phenomenon the ``electronic tether.'' And they are very concerned.

``When a student and parent are calling and texting all day, what happens is the kid has the parent in their head, so there is not that liberation there once was in college to just make your own decisions,'' said Middlebury College psychology professor Barbara Hofer. There is not a lot of independent decision-making going on. ``It's a serious concern in terms of who they become in the workplace and in society.''

`EMERGING ADULTHOOD'

She teaches a course on adolescent development and a theory called ``emerging adulthood.''

A better term might be delayed adulthood. It refers to the developmental phase between 18 and 35 when people want the rights of adulthood but do not assume all the responsibilities that go with it.

Hofer has found that they lean heavily on their parents even after they have a diploma.

``We're already hearing stories about graduates who say, `I can't accept that salary offer until I talk to my parents,' '' Hofer said. ``Or they actually bring their parents to the job interview.''

Sure, some of this is anecdotal. But the survey results say a lot.

When I was in college in the mid '90s at UF, these hovering parents were not so prevalent. Nor were there so many ``cling-to-Mom'' students. I kept more than a few things from my parents and grandparents, and it didn't spell the end of me or of them.

Back then we didn't all have cellphones. It would be a few years before Facebook took off. ``Tweet'' was literally a term reserved for the birds.

Keeping in constant touch with home was not desired nor expected. I certainly would not have wanted them tracking me on Facebook or bombarding me with text messages.

Yet parents today often seem to want to experience college through their children, Mastrodicasa said. Or at least to control what their children experience.

`ALWAYS A MELTDOWN'

During freshman orientation, UF separates students from parents during class registration.

``There's always a meltdown,'' Mastrodicasa said, ``Because the parents want to be there when their kids pick their classes.''

Hofer said Middlebury College has given up trying to force students into deciding on classes themselves.

``I watch it happen every time. The students just whip out their cellphones and send Mom a text.''